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Archive for the ‘Weekly Top Ten List for Men’ Category

This week’s Top Ten List: The Best Way to Rid your Cravings for Midnight Snacks

Posted by ghostpipe73 on October 31, 2007

10. Sellotape the door of your refrigerator after dinner every night.

9. Stick pictures of delicious food near your bed so you can fantasise about it before going to sleep.

8. When the craving comes, do 10 push-ups. Repeat this set 5 times, with rest time of 45-60 seconds in between sets. After a while you will get thirsty. Drink lots of water. Then you’ll be too bloated to eat.

7. Buy one of those”Faces of Death” VCDs or DVDs. After watching, you will definitely lose your appetite.

6. Surf the net and search for images under “diseased liver” or “diseased stomach”. (Didn’t work for me, I felt like throwing up each time)

5. Ask your wife/husband/partner to bitch-slap you hard with a pineapple every time you utter the words “Honey, I feel like a snack….”.

4. Start smoking. Hey, the title of this post is not The Best Way to Rid your Cravings for Smoking, is it?

3. Sellotape your mouth after dinner every night.

2. Chew sugar-free gum while watching TV. It works.

1. Meditate for at least 5 minutes every day, repeating to yourself this simple phrase, “I am a healthy person who eats enough for a day and no more.” This is what I actually do.

overeating-obesity.jpg

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This week’s top ten list is “Habits I do not need but have to live with”

Posted by ghostpipe73 on October 14, 2007

This week’s top ten list is “Habits I do not need but have to live with”:
10. Holding back a fart to maintain social politeness.
9. Subconsciously digging my nose and tasting the dig.
8. Procrastinating to go to the dentist – until you have your next ice-cold drink
7. Appear deaf when your better half laments her stressful day at work or at home

6. Unzip my pants AS I walk to the toilet
5. Talking on the cell and fiddling with the stereo while driving without your seat belts on (Warning: This is a dangerous and live-threatening habit.)

4. Unknowingly stare at a well –endowed woman’s bosom. With glee.
3. Knowingly stare at a well-endowed woman’s bosom. With double glee.

2. Forgetting what you wanted to say just moments after you were rudely interrupted by a fellow colleague/wife/girlfriend on another not-so-important subject matter.

1. Masturbating hard when you cannot have sex.

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